Being an expatriate

You live abroad for a shorter or longer period, possibly because you or your partner is having a job there. In that case you will be confronted with many changes. You can be prepared for some of these changes. Other changes just happen to you. The latter may give rise to feelings of stress. These may lead to conflicts with your partner or children. For example the working partner will be fully engaged with his new job. The other partner is suffering from a lack of attention and may have to take part in too many socials. Also you may stumble on differences in culture and language. And on return to your mother land you may feel unlucky because the old environment has changed. In these situations feelings of homesickness, anxiety and depression may develop.

It is crucial that you are prepared that this might happen. I can offer help in this so that you will understand why are you having these feelings. From that you can define the steps which lead to a solution. If the problems are not passing by you shoud ask a lifecoach or psychologist for help. I can offer you these services too, both in the Netherlands and elsewhere. Outside the Netherlands we can use e-mail or chat services. In the neighbourhood of Amsterdam and Almere it is possible to have life contact at one of the places I work. Send an e-mail to .

Preparation

It is important to be prepared for living and working abroad. In this way you know how you will react to problems like draw backs, loneliness and problems with your partner and children. If you find it difficult to cope with these situations, during preparation you can learn to improve on this. How ? The First step is to be aware that this might happen. The second step is to go over the possible situations together with your partner and children. Do you know how each of you will react and are all of you able to help each other overcoming difficult situations ? If you cannot answer these questions, the third step is to ask a coach for help to get clear answers. If you are not able to support each other in a sufficient way, the fourth step is to ask a trainer/coach for support in improving this. As a result you will be well prepared to take the challenge and make the adventure of living as an expatriate into a feast for all.

Mission

Only after you have moved abroad you can tell if the preparation has been sufficient. There might be situations which could not be foreseen. In these situations you, your partner and children might react differently to each other than you all learned to do during the preparation. If this happens you are advised to ask for help with the trainer/coach you are already familiar with. This person only needs a hint to understand what is happening and can give you the directive which may put you back to track. In some other cases more serious psychological problems might happen, like anxiety or depression. These problems can sometimes, but not always, be solved with online contact if your coach is a experienced psychologist as well.

Debrief

After you finished your work, you return to your home land. Do not expect this to be without complications. For example, the world you used to be familiar with may have changed more than you like. From this your feelings of familiarity and safety may disappear and instead you may develop feelings of "homesickness" to living abroad. Normally this will pass over time. If not your familiar coach/psychologist may help you to overcome this.

Websites for expats

Websites for English speaking expats:
Expatica
Transitional abroad
Expat women helping each other
Expat exchange